Have you ever been let down by your friends, relatives and colleagues ? If yes, then you are not the only one. Everyone has felt the pain and broken hearts because of being in wrong relationships. The big question is whether you could have avoided all this hurt and pain if you knew which are the types of relationships which are FALSE and should be avoided. And which ones are TRUE and should be nurtured. Well, that is what this article is going to tell you.

Let us see what are the FALSE relationships. One may have these relationships but they can not be long lasting.

False-Relationship-1

Relationship of Usefulness. We chase people who are in powerful position thinking that they could be useful to us tomorrow. Eg Rich People, Politicians, Doctors, Lawyers etc.

But, moment that person is no more in that position and his usefulness goes then the relationship also goes. That is the end.

False-Relationship-2

Relationship of Convenience. You have a neighbor. You share a car pool to drop the kids to school together. You also buy home made food tiffins from his wife.

But moment you stop these interactions then the relationship also goes. That is the end.

False-Relationship-3

Relationship of common enemy. You find someone to support your fight against a common enemy. You fight together. However, moment the common enemy goes, friendship also goes. That is the end.

Let us now look at some real and true relationships. They are based on very different parameters.

True-Relationship-1

Based On Mutual Respect : A happy married couple is happy because they respect each other.  Not because they tolerate each other. Any relationship based on tolerating each will soon fall apart.

A relationship based on mutual respect will be solid. The mutual respect works as an anchor.

True-Relationship-2

Based On Trust. Trust is the most important sutra for success of long-term relationships. Can you share your secrets without any fear ? Can you depend on your friend to stand by your side when you are in distress ?  If answer to these questions is YES then your relationship will be a lasting one. The trust is the anchor of this relationship.

Remember that helping each other is the bedrock of relationships. Here is an example. A friend of mine for 30 years needs my help tonight for some emergency. Now who is going to help him. Is he going to make a new friend tonight ? The most natural action on his part would be to seek help from me ie a friend of 30 years. And if I am a true friend then It will be my duty to help – as long as it is not something illegal or involves me in his personal fight with someone else.

The Takeaway

We should understand that the purpose of a relationship is not to extract something out of someone for your selfish interests. To build strong relationships we must be willing to give and add value to another person’s life.  That is what nurtures a long term relationship and builds strong bonds.

Here is a famous couplet with lot of wisdom about relationships. In effect, it says that trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair.

This is something to think about and be aware in our world of relationships.